I don’t need someone to need me
In order to feel needed
I don’t want someone to want me
Just so I can feel wanted
I am beautiful because I believe it
Not because someone tells me
I am special because I choose to be
Not because of who is at my side
I feel proud of where I am
And nobody will decide where that is but me
I feel confident in who I am
And nobody has the power to bring me down
I am needed
I am wanted
I am beautiful
I am special
I am proud
I am confident
I am me.
And that is enough.
Drowning in my alphagetti
Holding onto U to stay afloat
But I can’t keep close
Kicking my words away with the power of panic
There are so many Us and only one of me
I can’t see through the red abyss
It said this would be fun
It said I could make dinner into a game
Instead all I want is to run
But my feet can’t touch the bowl
My sole purpose has become this scramble up the wall
If only I were taller and this bowl somewhat smaller….
I wouldn’t be drowning in my alphagetti.
She breaked hard on the surface of her skin.
She needed a break from the sunburns that never rubbed in.
She could break so easily from the sunshine within.
Her bones would break if they were worn too thin.
I don’t believe I’ll ever find myself.
But I think that that is overrated.
Always looking forward to this “self” that I don’t even know
She’ll never show herself because I’ll always be lost
.And that’s how I want it to be.
Finding yourself comes with a cost
of never changing again.. of never discovering and
never chasing sunsets in distress
Finding yourself means there is only one true you
And who you are cannot be fully defined until that time
When you profess wholeness. Balance of mind and soul.
And any holes you dug yourself out of are covered and walked upon
With pride and confidence in where you stand
On top of smoothed out land
And I’ll admit I’ve been smoothing and weeding and
Today I realized I’ll never find myself.
I’ll never stand on top of my perfected land in pride
Because I’m built for change.
And I think we have it all wrong in the way we say “I need to find myself” because in
reality I think we mean “I need to find comfort in always being lost”.
Take these men
Who touch without feeling
Who feel without holding
Who hold without caring
Who care without meaning.
and say goodbye.
Because they will never be enough
Because they don’t ask you when you cry
Because they don’t see you when you try
These men, who silently ask you to change
Who don’t find it strange
That your smile isn’t the same
Because that’s not where they’re looking.
Wipe their eyes from below
Pull them up to face what isn’t theirs
Because you are worth so much more.
and say goodbye.