What happened
Where did the warmth go that hugged me to sleep
It doesn’t keep me alive anymore
It left before I knew how to start the fire myself
Teach a man to fish
He’ll eat forever
Teach a girl to love
She’ll never know alone
Cold to the bone
Means more to me now
Now that I know how it feels
To not know how to feel
I will not fight for something real
And that’s not right
That’s not me
What happened
Jump in a puddle
Make waves in the solitude of innocence
Convince the chiming surroundings
The tick tock blocks of moving wheels
To feel young again.
Pretend the path you walk leads underwater
Shock the dry tired toes
And show them where those reflections go
Stir up the silent sunset
With a wet blast of past passions
It may be a lonely venture
But an adventure nonetheless.
Make waves in the solitude of innocence
Jump in a puddle.
I love the independence of being single
Because you get to independently feel alone
And that’s beautiful
It’s not often you have to truly comfort yourself…
I love the brutal-ness of that challenge
Don’t believe me? Me neither.
So feeling alone is gross. Poetically gross.
That doesn’t make it any less beautiful.
Take an HONEST look.
No really.
What are your weaknesses
What makes you fall to the floor in laughter or pain
What passionates you
/Oh that’s a word
To fill one with passion.
Trust me. I’m an English teacher../
GOSH you are wonderful
Look how you miscommunicate,
How you awkward-walk and talk on days when…
…What days make you awkward walk and talk?
There are things you really just truly are terrible at
And things that make you feel crap or inspired or beaten down
WHY
What is it about that guys face, or those teammates tears that makes you FEEL.
Find that core. Find that trembling emotion
that bursting need to scream or giggle or cry or love- to emotionalize
/to bring life into living/
Take your face in your hands and squeeze it
Or don’t. because that’s kind of silly
But what I mean is just stand naked in front of your faults and FEEL what it FEELS to be you. To be a magnificently flawed and confused being.
WOW
How freeing
How amazingly difficult and jarring that is. I’M NOT PERFECT
say that again.
And accept it
And ACCEPT IT.
Judge yourself and wonder at the glory of these dancing moments. Yes.
Dancing.
A poet word but hey, do you not feel rhythm in your days too?
I don’t
/
I do/
Check out of your bathroom vanities and let’s travel a bit lighter from now on.
I’m sick of this dependency.
Give me some grossly beautiful alone.
/completely yourself/
It’s easy because I love you
Because I know you love me too and
I am not worried we cannot survive a little time apart
I am not worried about pretty girls or wandering eyes
It’s easy,
because I love you.
and I know you love me too
I thought it’d be easy.
But I’m seeing the reality of sending my heart away
It’s not that I’m achingly sad; you’re not gone forever
I don’t cry as though we’ve said goodbye for good
But it’s definitely not easy.
I feel adrift in a world not the same without you
I feel sad but excited as I count down the days
So I’m caught in this hiccup of happiness and loneliness
and scaring me won’t make it go away
Missing you is hard.
Maybe my heart is growing fonder
But I don’t want to be away from you any longer
Sure, I can survive alone, I can be happy alone…
But you make me do more than just survive,
Sharing my happiness with you gives me strength
I never knew I had.
Loving you is easy.
But missing you is hard.
*27 days*
*dedicated to myself on September 19, 2010*
I know you feel alone right now
I can see you crying yourself to sleep
Why don’t they call?
Would they care if I left.. would they notice?
I can feel your heartache of having nobody to talk to
friendless
Friendless? Well that must be offensive to the people who call themselves your friends
Come to me
Look me in the eyes
and tell me nobody loves you
can you do that with the entire truth?
I doubt it
I know you feel alone right now
But you must realize you brought this loneliness on yourself
It is nobody’s responsibility but your own
To make sure you aren’t lonely
Stop pushing them away,
For that will only make it worse
They are in your life, so make them welcome
Stop pushing them away
Perhaps they don’t call for they are lonely themselves
and made it your responsibility to save them
Well how silly would that be?
A world of people sitting at home feeling alone
Waiting on others to bring the coffee
Oh girl,
Don’t live your life indoors
You can’t travel anywhere if you don’t step outside
Make the call
Bring the coffee and make sure you are never alone
Don’t worry if the others bring nothing,
They aren’t yours to save,
just enjoy the company
and wipe those tears away
you mean something to me.
Sunrise Thoughts 