December 17, 2012: Wake Me

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Or more ignorant
more accepting
more desperate…

Where does the reality stop
and fantasy begin
Foolish.
Distracting.
Let me open my eyes and wake up
Before I fall down deeper
Fantasy becomes reality
Reality blurs again with further dreams

Inception.

SHAKE me.

WAKE me.

The moment is now.
My feelings imagined or created by fairy tales
The moment is now.
I control my destiny
What will be, will be.
The moment will be gone but

I

will remain
There’s nothing to gain from these dreams
Distance only makes the heart grow
fonder to

pain.

November 15, 2012: Time to let it go

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Time to let it go

Time to remember the butterflies

Long nights and early mornings

Barely a beginning, no end in sight

But there is no middle

There is no cocoon to be wrapped with

Warm and safe..

Perhaps one day this could grow

What’s inside could blossom and fly free with the breeze

But now, good friend

Time to let it go

Time to move on and let fate take its hand

I cannot stand it anymore

Crawling at a pace so slow

That you don’t see we are going different ways

Wanting but not being able to have

Watching you discover other lovers

Feeling guilty as I find others too

Wondering what it is we have

Are you thinking of me tonight?

Time to let it go.

I’ll see you all too soon

But that’s too far away to stay attached by this

shivering thread

I won’t swim across the ocean

I will only fly for temporary travels

I’m no stronger than a migrating bird

When I leave, I will always return

Return home. Return to you.

I allow and relish this pull in all directions

But you,

You have a love so strong that weighs you down

To ask of you to leave behind this affair with land

With history, with trees and music

With the tastes of memories and sounds of home

It would kill the part of you I love the most

And so that is why

It’s time to let it go.

Good friend

If you can remember the times

When we believed in starry nights

When we believed something so beautiful

Could last

Lips tinted softly with words so sweet

Eyes painted sharp in moments too short

and now the tears of goodbye sting with regret

because I will always wonder what if..

I will always be waiting secretly to be yours.

For now,

Time to let it go.

October 11, 2012: Ambiguous Feelings

We’re nothing anymore.

 

But we were something
And that means something to some people.
I’m here

 

he’s there
We can’t be together, only feeling that we once felt

But it’s now, and it’s impossible
Possible for past us
Now I’m here… he’s there
We’re nothing, though we don’t have to be
But sometimes we can’t know what an almost could have been
And yet because we’re here (though here… and there)

We are something.

Just in a wrong time, wrong place, different paths
And together we are. We follow (fall..oh) together through everything we could never
be
do
feel
Separate life lines, strings that once crossed and so always touching
Always tangled…
even if they never cross again, nor meet at the same final knot.

August 24, 2012: Risk Worth Taking..?

Uncertainty has always been my weakest point
Now it fills me to the brim
Ocean storms make vision blurry
I’m only sure when I’m with him
It’s always harder loving someone
Than never diving in
Allowing him to hold my life raft
Not knowing how to swim
At any time he may change direction
Leaving me hurt and lost behind
Can I trust him with this power?
That he’ll never change his mind
I keep flipping back and forth
But I know that it’s too late
I’ve fallen hard and fast
The horse is too far out the gate
So now he holds the controller
To the beating of my heart
I must brace against the memories
For this is just the start.

August 17, 2012: Blinding Romance

Smile for me
One last time
I will kiss you softly
A promise of an unknown future
Is this real?
Fingertips gently tilt my eyes
Into your gaze
Telling me to believe
To believe in this
Sudden passionate awareness
silence as we stand
unable to leave, unable to stay
and in a final embrace
we speak through electric touch
Time speeds by
As we desperately memorize
Smells of perfume, freckle formations
And sweet laughing melodies
Not knowing if this is goodbye
Shivering at the thought of years
Then with one last look
I pass through the door
With tears
For you
and
I
Our Blinding Romance